discovering joy in the journey

Joy to the Heart

Quick, a multiple choice test!

When things don’t go the way you want them to, do you…

a) throw up your hands and say, “I can’t do this!”?
b) keep moving forward, inch by inch, making modifications and adjustments as needed in order to reach your goal?
c) cry out to the Lord for help?
d) all of the above?

If you answered choice ‘d’, then maybe you can relate.

We are on day 31 of our first grade and preschool homeschool journey this year. (Well, actually day 42 now that I am getting around to posting this. LOL!) Yeah!  While it is exciting to think that we are this far into the school year already, I must admit that the beginning weeks of our school year have been very challenging for me.

I used to teach kindergarten in a public school.  There were fairly set times and a distinct order to our day. I could post a schedule on the board and kids would know what was coming next.  In general, kids thrive on routine -knowing what is coming next and what is expected.  I thrive in an environment like that as well.   So, here in our homeschool, I have organized a daily routine and order for what we are to do when, but  in a household of 4 precious children, ranging in age from 6 years to 7 months, we can’t always have a set routine.  There are some uncommon first grade ‘interruptions’ that my oldest has to deal with – such as stopping while mommy has to discipline a younger sibling or taking a break as mommy goes to change a diaper or calms her baby sister.   So, what if we take a quick break every now and then or I ask her to continue working by herself on something?  Or, what happens when it says in my plans that we are to do read aloud next, but the baby is crying and there is no reasonable way anyone can actually listen and comprehend what is happening in the story – let alone mommy be able to read?  Does it really matter if we switch the read aloud time with say, some phonics seatwork while I can comfort my baby girl?   It is these daily times of adjusting to the needs of each child and taking in consideration of what is best for all of us that are challenging for me.   I want to cherish the time with the youngest children AND do school well (and keep an orderly house, etc, etc.)    So, in order to do that, flexibility has had to become my new motto!

And, in all honesty, these challenging times are also the times when the enemy whispers thoughts of  ‘You can’t do this.  You’re just playing school.  When are you going to send her to a REAL school?’

I have to remember that, no matter how crazy some days feel, my first grader IS learning.   She is just learning in a different environment.  And that is OKAY!

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone. My hope comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation.  He is my fortress.
I will not be shaken.  My salvation and my honor depend on God.
He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people.
Pour out your hearts to Him.  For God is our refuge.
(Psalm 62:5-8)

My hope is in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  My strength comes from Him.

Psalm 56:3
When I am afraid, I will trust in You.
When I am afraid, I will trust in You.
When I am afraid, I will trust in You.
Psalm 56:3
I will trust in You!

Since the end of our 3’s school and kindergarten year, my oldest two children had eagerly been asking when we would begin school again.  Thoughts of the last three months of our school year would flash through my mind.  We had a newborn the last three months of school.   Pulling my K student to do school whenever we had some time when the baby napped worked for awhile, but the unpredictability and loss of routine and structure had left me frazzled!   So, although the girls were excited, I was experiencing a paralyzing fear.  Thoughts of ‘What if I can’t do this with a toddler and baby needing my attention as well?  They deserve more – someone more qualified, more knowledgeable, someone with more energy and patience …’

I decided to ask to meet with another trusted homeschool mom (more seasoned than I) to see if I was on track for the type and amount of work I had been planning for the upcoming year and to glean any words of wisdom.  She graciously helped me tweak some areas and encouraged me as well.

About a week into our new homeschool year though, I was once again feeling defeated and thinking, ‘I can’t do this.’   I was nearing the point of throwing in the towel before I had even started!  ‘The school bus for our district wouldn’t even be coming around for another week or so. There was still time to switch, right?’

Then, at just the right time, God sent two things (literally) to get me refocused.  One was a reader’s comment that spoke some calming reassurance to my heart.  These weren’t her exact words, but what I heard as I read was, ‘God is sovereign and He gave us our children to raise for His glory. It is our responsibility and blessing to get to train them and to educate them at home.  He makes no mistakes. Your little ones are where they need to be.’

The second item God sent was a book that I had ordered a few weeks before school was to start, Lies Homeschooling Mom’s Believe by Todd Wilson.  I had first heard of this through the Heart of the Matter Online Devotional Study and knew it would be one that I would want to add to my library.  The book was written by the husband of a homeschooling mom to 7 and I found it to be a quick, often humorous, and straightforward read, offering much that I could relate to and needed to hear.    (The above HOTM link will allow you to read and get a good feel for what is in the book, so I will not elaborate on that here.) I know I will be referring back to the book throughout this year – as it seems to be an on again, off again battle in my mind to NOT believe the lies.  I need to remember that Satan is the Father of all lies and that lies need to be combated by the Truth in God’s Word.

Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5
For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Dear Jesus, I will trust in You.