First Day Fears

Psalm 56:3
When I am afraid, I will trust in You.
When I am afraid, I will trust in You.
When I am afraid, I will trust in You.
Psalm 56:3
I will trust in You!

Since the end of our 3’s school and kindergarten year, my oldest two children had eagerly been asking when we would begin school again.  Thoughts of the last three months of our school year would flash through my mind.  We had a newborn the last three months of school.   Pulling my K student to do school whenever we had some time when the baby napped worked for awhile, but the unpredictability and loss of routine and structure had left me frazzled!   So, although the girls were excited, I was experiencing a paralyzing fear.  Thoughts of ‘What if I can’t do this with a toddler and baby needing my attention as well?  They deserve more – someone more qualified, more knowledgeable, someone with more energy and patience …’

I decided to ask to meet with another trusted homeschool mom (more seasoned than I) to see if I was on track for the type and amount of work I had been planning for the upcoming year and to glean any words of wisdom.  She graciously helped me tweak some areas and encouraged me as well.

About a week into our new homeschool year though, I was once again feeling defeated and thinking, ‘I can’t do this.’   I was nearing the point of throwing in the towel before I had even started!  ‘The school bus for our district wouldn’t even be coming around for another week or so. There was still time to switch, right?’

Then, at just the right time, God sent two things (literally) to get me refocused.  One was a reader’s comment that spoke some calming reassurance to my heart.  These weren’t her exact words, but what I heard as I read was, ‘God is sovereign and He gave us our children to raise for His glory. It is our responsibility and blessing to get to train them and to educate them at home.  He makes no mistakes. Your little ones are where they need to be.’

The second item God sent was a book that I had ordered a few weeks before school was to start, Lies Homeschooling Mom’s Believe by Todd Wilson.  I had first heard of this through the Heart of the Matter Online Devotional Study and knew it would be one that I would want to add to my library.  The book was written by the husband of a homeschooling mom to 7 and I found it to be a quick, often humorous, and straightforward read, offering much that I could relate to and needed to hear.    (The above HOTM link will allow you to read and get a good feel for what is in the book, so I will not elaborate on that here.) I know I will be referring back to the book throughout this year – as it seems to be an on again, off again battle in my mind to NOT believe the lies.  I need to remember that Satan is the Father of all lies and that lies need to be combated by the Truth in God’s Word.

Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5
For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Dear Jesus, I will trust in You.

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  1. Kim LaBombard says

    I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for sharing. I have been wrestling with the idea of homeschooling since my children were still in utero. I have been struggling even more lately as I now have a kindergartner in the public school system. I believe my biggest challenge now is getting my hubby to believe i can do. My k has been home sick since the kids went back to school after Christmas break. I have taken advantage of this time to follow some of your joyful heart curriculum. My daughter has loved ‘learning’ at home. While I do not want her to continue to be sick – it has been a great excuse for homeschooling (in my limited experience) her.
    So, thanks for the encouragement, the reality, the ups and downs of your days and what you (an experienced homeschool mom) go through and struggle with.

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