discovering joy in the journey

Joy to the Heart

Our toddler frequently grabs a piece of paper or small notepad and asks me, “What you want Mama?”  Typically, I will give her my order of some foods for her to pretend to prepare or some items for her to write on her ‘grocery list’.  About a month ago, when she asked this commonplace question, my mind unexpectedly sent out a flurry of silent answers for her…

• Joy and contentment
• Obedient children – For the older girls to not question and correct me; for our oldest son to eat foods everyone else eats; for our toddler to not scream and throw tantrums; for our sweet baby to sleep longer at night
• Children who love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength
• To get outside in the fresh air more
• To be able to pray aloud with my husband
• To sleep for more than 4-5 hours a few nights in a row
• To have time to record the memory verse songs
• To not be so pressed for time and always feeling behind
• To be a prayer warrior for my kids and husband
• To be in the Word and sitting at Jesus’ feet daily
• To draw my children close and to not push them away with my too quick responses, harsh tones, or actions
• More time with my husband
• Trees and flowers
• To not feel so tired and to not look so tired and worn out all the time

She kept asking and I kept telling her some of my favorite foods to add to her list of circles and scribbles, but even after she ran off to play something else, the unspoken responses stayed with me. Many of these ‘wants’ were good things. However, could any of them possibly have become idols? I also noticed that several of the ‘wants’ were caused by areas of sin in my life that must be dealt with. For example, was I correctly training and instructing or had I been letting certain behaviors slip by without addressing them?  And then there were a few that I had to question as to whether they were actually grumblings and discontentment against my faithful Lord.

God can use the innocent speech of our children to prick our hearts and to help turn our thoughts back to Him.

I have a LONG list of things that I want to accomplish this summer. 
Not one of them got done today, but not because I didn’t try. 

Instead…

I nursed the baby.
I looked in the baby’s bright blue eyes and told him that I loved him.
I held a fussy baby and prayed to know how to help soothe him.
I washed the dishes.
I got my heart checked by a cute, in-house, princess doctor.
I swept up the noodles that strayed from the kids’ sensory tub.
I filled, ran, and emptied the dishwasher.
I prepared lunch.
I wiped cheesy wild rice soup remains from a toddler’s face.
I kissed a toddler’s knee after she fell and wiped away her tears.
I changed diapers.
I tried to keep my calm as a little one in training became wet once again.
I cried out and prayed to the Lord for strength.
I listened to a 6 year old read a funny story and heard her laugh.
I helped a 4 year old make a list of foods that he wants to bake when he grows up and becomes a chef.
I washed, dried, and redid sheets.
I sang silly songs and got to dance.
I kissed the sweet cheeks of a sleeping infant.
I shared a lift the flap book with a toddler while lying on the floor.
I heard God’s Word being sung through a child’s voice.
I got my order taken by a little waitress, over and over again.
I got to comfort an 8 year old with a headache that doesn’t seem to go away.

I died to self as things I wanted to do were put aside.
And, I nursed the baby again, washed the dishes again, changed diapers again…

I got nothing done today – at least by this world’s standards.

Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good,
for at the proper time we will reap a harvest
if we do not give up.