As our family embarked on the homeschool journey, I was one who constantly asked questions of other homeschool moms. I was looking for any piece of practical and godly wisdom I could glean from those with slightly older children.  I am so thankful for those women who were patient with me while answering my deluge of questions, pointing out possible curriculum and methods, and directing and inspiring me from the very  beginning. 

I continue to ask LOTS of questions and I am still learning, but now, more and more I am also being asked for advice by newer homeschool moms.    Many of these dear women are in a very rich, yet difficult season – a season where their family consists mostly of little ones and a slightly older child just beginning to be able to help.  Just trying to think about ‘how’ to homeschool can be daunting – especially on days when they can’t even seem to get a picture book read to their older one without it being pulled away by a pair of sweet, tiny, little hands.  Mix in the doubts from within and the well meaning concerns from others, and you could feel like giving up before you even start.   I know… because not so long ago, I was there, too.

Even with so many faithful, encouraging homeschool moms who went before me, I, somehow, still entered homeschooling completely unaware of how challenging it would be and how much growth God had in store for the kids – and for me.  The following is some of what God has been teaching me during our first several years of homeschooling.  Now, please don’t misunderstand.  I do not presume to know everything and realize that God has so much more to teach me along this journey, but I pray that my sharing will be helpful for other moms just starting out on this awesome adventure into homeschooling.  

 

First, the practical…

Practically

1) Get into a routine.  Children need to know what to expect and have some consistent order to their day.  Start by thinking through some non changing points (like meal, snack, and nap times) in the day and work around those.

2) Consider using  workboxes .  I’ve found that individual workboxes helps our older kids to keep progressing and moving forward with their schoolwork during the day, even when I can’t due to tending to the needs of their younger siblings.

3) Provide for the hearts and hands of your little ones, too.  Here are lots of practical ideas for including little ones that we have implemented over the years!

4) Homeschooling with a newborn has its’ own set of challenges, but it is doable.

5) Amidst all the flurry of planning for ‘school’ and academics, don’t forget to persist in focusing on your kids’ heart, character, and continued first time obedience.

 

Now, for what I think is the most important…

Emotionally & Spiritually

1) It is great to have a plan, but also make sure you are preparing to be flexible and ready to adjust as needed, especially with little ones.  This is one constant theme that God has been repeating to me with each new homeschool year –flexibility!

 

2) Give yourself and your kids grace. You will make mistakes.  You will not always be able to fit in everything you want to do each day.  You probably will not always speak to your children with a gentle tone of voice nor respond in a righteous way and need to seek forgiveness.  Dinner might be late and laundry may get piled up high.  Yes, you will experience days where you just –want –to -quit.  But, if your call and burden is God given, then He will also give you the grace and strength to continue on.

 

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (Corinthians 12:9-10)

 

3) Be prepared to battle the lies that you will inevitably encounter.  Over time, as you peruse homeschool magazines, read homeschool blogs, and chat with your neighboring homeschooler (all of which can provide needed insight, encouragement, and great ideas) you will eventually start to think that everyone else seems to be able to ‘do it all’, that maybe it would be better to have your kids taught by someone else, that somehow you are failing your children, and doubt your ability to teach them diligently.  

You see your own daily failings and compare it to others’ bright shining moments.  The day to day can be hard and blind you to what is actually going well in your own homeschool and the gradual growth God is performing in you and your children. 

I’ve personally thought and felt each of these emotions  (The Joy Stealer).

But…
You can choose to fix your mind on things unseen, to take captive every thought, and to focus on God’s Word and Truth in order to combat the lies.  Stay connected to the vine, being in His Word.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.  (2 Corinthians 10:5)

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast,because he trusts in you. (Isaiah 26:3)

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:8-9)

 

4) Over time, God will help you learn how to balance being both the Mommy and the Teacher.
- My 4 Ring Circus
-The Daily Mommy VS Teacher Battle (series)

Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. (Psalm 90:12)

For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10)

I love this quote by Nancy Leigh DeMoss in her book Lies Women Believe.  She states,

“Frustration is the by-product of attempting to fulfill responsibilities God does not intend for us to carry. Freedom, joy, and fruitfulness come from seeking to determine God’s priorities for each season of life, and then setting out to fulfill those priorities, in the power of His Spirit, realizing the He has provided the necessary time and ability to do everything that He has called us to do.”

Seek His guidance to know what He desires for you to accomplish each day, in each of your roles, and in each season your family is in. He is faithful to provide just what we need at just the right time. 

 

5) Remind yourself why you are homeschooling.
- What Homeschooling Isn’t

We will not hide them from their children;
we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord,
his power, and the wonders he has done.
He decreed statutes for Jacob
and established the law in Israel,
which he commanded our forefathers
to teach their children,
so the next generation would know them,
even the children yet to be born,
and they in turn would tell their children.
Then they would put their trust in God
and would not forget his deeds
but would keep his commands.
Psalm 78:4-7

Remembering why you embarked on the homeschool journey will help you make wise curriculum, extracurricular/activity, and time commitment decisions – keeping you focused on what matters the most.

 

You can homeschool!

 

Prepared with practical things you can do and dressed with your emotional and spiritual armor on, you can persevere when the days are challenging! 

By God’s grace, He will not only help get you started on this journey,
but He will also sustain you. 

He will equip you for the task He has given you – every step of the way.

I love our children, am thankful for the freedom and opportunity to home educate, and am glad to to be home with them each day.  Sometimes, though, I feel so divided during our homeschool day…

  

I’m sitting beside our toddler at the kitchen table.  He’s having me place balls of playdough into mini muffin tins and then he smashes them flat, making imprints with a handled cookie press.

‘This is good.  He’s having fun and using his fine motor skills…and I get to be right here with him.’ 

Our first grader sits on the other side of me.  He’s brainstorming describing words, verbs, and location phrases to make silly sentences.

‘He is supposed to do this one day each week and he greatly enjoys it.  Why do I keep forgetting to switch it out with his Explode the Code?  He’s been asking for weeks to do this again.  Look how much he is getting into this!’

I am his scribe as he thinks of each idea. 

Our preschooler comes up to me several times asking if she can go outside and take a photo of nature for her thankful notebook.  “No, not right now.  Let’s wait until it warms up some. Maybe after lunch we can all go out for a walk in the woods.”  She asks several times and my answer is still the same.

‘Oh my.  I really hope we do get a chance to go out after lunch or she will be one disappointed little girl.’

Our 3rd grader is at the kitchen counter.

‘She loves working there each day.’ 

She pops up off of her stool several times to see what her younger brothers are up to and I try to remind her to sit down and to focus on her work.

‘What has she gotten done so far?’

Our 5th grader is sitting across the table from me, working in her math workbook.  I see her glance up at her toddler brother and I.  I realize that she has been trying to get my attention for awhile now, trying to talk above everyone else.

‘I know I’ve heard her several times ask for help.  I remember saying, “Just a minute.”  How long ago was that?’ 

“Mommy, how do I do this?” she asks again.  And she starts spewing off the problem.

‘Whoa!’ 

I can sense my eyes glazing over.  I feel frustration rising as I can’t seem to focus.  For a second, I look intently at her face.

‘I wonder what she thinks of all of this.  How do we get anything done?’

“I’m a visual person, sweetie.  Bring it here so I can see it.”  She pauses, looks at her little brother, and says, “How did he get to be so cute, Mama?”

‘I think the same thing!  We all surely love this little guy.’

I smile and begin to roll playdough balls again and listen to various sentences about a kite, and lots of chuckles after each one.  A few moments later, I glance up to where our oldest daughter was…but she is no longer there.

‘Didn’t she need help?’ 

Our littlest guy declares that he is all done with the playdough and we I clean up the mess.  He runs off, happily, to go find his big preschool aged sister to play with.  I head to the office and find our oldest sitting on the couch and working quietly on her math. 

‘She must get so frustrated waiting for me.  Why can’t I have time to just sit and listen to her, be with her, and enjoy her?  She is growing so fast!  I so wish I knew how to be more relationship driven.’ 

I sit down next to my big girl and we tackle those problems. 

  

I could also recount, later in that same day, how the two oldest girls were on either side of me needing my help with writing assignments, our toddler was climbing all over me and insisting that I play with him, and our preschooler was complaining (quite loudly) that her big brother was bothering her (when he was supposed to be doing his math).  Hmmm…  (You’ll be glad to know that, yes, it got resolved as big brother was sent to complete his work upstairs and one of the girls was instructed to play with our toddler as I worked with the other one.)

This is just a small glimpse into a portion of our day as a homeschooling family with five precious blessings.  Are you tired yet?

 

I originally wrote ‘In Mourning’ in early September.  Now, it is November and I continue to reflect on what God has made known to me.

Calm, organized homeschool days are a good thing to desire.  However, they are rare!  And, when my sins of anger and impatience erupt due to not meeting those expectations, God shows me that this good goal has become an idol.  My dilemma: How am I able to not continue to allow this good goal (but the cause of my sin) to have such a hold over me?  What would it, practically, look like in my day to day thoughts and interactions with my family?

As I stated previously, I need to…
1) Remember that God is working to transform me through homeschooling.
2) Be grateful for the opportunity to homeschool, even during the hard days.
3) Choose to be content where He has placed me, in this season.
4) Ask God to adjust my expectations to match His desires for our family.

 

Also, I MUST…

• cling to His Word and ask the Holy Sprit to guide and change me – EACH DAY.
• pray daily to God, asking Him to help me put on love, compassion, and patience, and to grant me a tongue full of life giving words. 
• be willing to be humble and apologize when I am wrong, seeking forgiveness from those I have sinned against. (I admit, this one comes very slow and hard for me!)
• be alert to areas of necessary child training and discipline that I sometimes overlook in an attempt to keep moving forward
• show grace –towards myself and our children.

I am thankful that I have a patient, compassionate, and gracious God who is abounding in love! 

The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
(Psalm 103:8-13)

When my mind and time are so divided among our little ones and all there is to do, my hope is in my Rock Eternal, who is able to keep me in perfect peace. 

You will keep in perfect peace
him whose mind is steadfast,
because he trusts in you.
Trust in the Lord forever,
for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal.
(Isaiah 26:3-4)

My hope is in You, Lord, all the day long…

My Hope is In You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RRZgr7wNDs

After a very long day, I finally took a moment to sink into the couch and to just sit in the quietness.  I noticed that beside me was a stray scarf that our girls use for dress up and dance.  I haphazardly placed the scarf over my head and immediately thought to myself, ‘I’m in mourning.’

‘What?  What would make me think that?’   As I reflected over the last couple of weeks and the crazy day that we had just experienced that day, I realized that maybe this thought had some truth to it.  I became aware that I was mourning what I thought homeschool would be like. I was mourning the vision in my head that, for the past six years, I couldn’t seem to make into a reality, no matter how hard I tried…

From the time our family began homeschooling, I always envisioned homeschooling as…

• a way to build more meaningful, deeper relationships with the kids
• lots of one on one time snuggled up on the couch reading and discussing great books
• all of us sitting at the kitchen table doing our school work with the littlest ones playing contentedly nearby
• lots of time for fun as a family outside of the bookwork and academics
• weekly nature walks and outdoor discovery
• a variety of opportunities for kids to explore and learn about what they were interested in – discovering and nurturing their ‘bents’   

 

Instead, I tend to experience…

• lots of prep work and planning during ‘non school time’ which interferes with the fun family time
• lots of getting the kids to stay on task and focused (by Legos, an unfinished art project, a cute sibling wanting to play, etc.)
• fighting to get this mama to stay on track (I get distracted so easily too – by the loads of laundry needing done, stopping to change a diaper, kissing boo boos, being tempted away by the phone or computer, daily meal prep, etc.)
• multiple times a day of dealing with sibling quarrels (which is hard for this mama who grew up as an only child!)
• a constant tug of war between wanting to play on the floor with the littlest ones and needing to sit with the oldest ones to read/discuss, teach, and come alongside as they need me
• lots of feeling like I am just throwing work at the older kids so I can tend to the younger ones
• attempts to read aloud while the youngest two play loudly or ask unrelated questions and a certain 6 year old boy does tumbles off of the couch
• and sadly, lots of tears and outbursts (from, ahem, me) due to frustration 

At the start of each school year, I focus a great deal on choosing curriculum, praying over a possible schedule for our day, getting into the best workable routine, reorganizing the environment, etc.  However, regardless of all the planning, the reality of the day to day never seems to be able to match my expectations and the vision in my mind.  This leaves me always feeling like a failure and constantly questioning (my abilities, God’s call to do this, what is best for our kids, etc.)

Yes, I was ‘in mourning’ – mourning an idol that could not continue to stand amidst God’s glory, His all sustaining power, His unconditional love, and His unending grace to me.  What makes me think that my vision for a calm, orderly homeschool had become an idol?  Confession time…

It was because I respond sinfully when my goals are not met.
(Yes, I cry.  I get easily agitated and angry.  I withdraw.)

My reaction to my disappointed dreams reveals what I really worship.  My plans are often frustrated and the response of my heart reveals whether I am worshipping God or an idol.

‘Ruin Me’ by Jeff Johnson has been running through my mind…. 

Now the plans that I have made fail to compare when I see your glory

Ruin my life – the plans I have  made.
Ruin desires for my own selfish gain.
Destroy the idols that have taken your place
Until it’s You alone I live for,
You alone I live for.

You can watch/listen to this song through YouTube.

I’m thankful that God has shown me one of the idols that needs to be removed.

 

Now, as I was contemplating and ‘mourning’ this homeschool idol that God had just revealed, my husband entered the room and cautiously sat down next to his veiled wife.  Yes, I am sure I was a picture of loveliness to behold.  Ha!  But, he prayed with me and gently and lovingly reminded me that…

• We have an enemy.  We are in a battle.  I can’t give up the fight.
• The safest place to be is in the center of God’s Will. 
• God is here with me.  I need to trust in His plan for having me here, to be content in this situation – in the middle of His Will. 
• We need to pray that He would stop and alert us – allowing us discernment – if we ever go out of His Will and need to change course.
• God doesn’t call us to things that are easy, but to things that transform us and help to make us more and more like Him.  He calls us to run the race marked out for us, with perseverance. Hebrews 12:1-3 states….

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,
let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles,
and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith,
who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame,
and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men,
so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

So, I stop and force myself to give thanks for the hard days, the difficult moments, and the challenging daily grind that doesn’t always go as planned – knowing that He is at work in all of us.  We are each learning and growing, regardless of the ‘out of control’ feeling of our day that I may often sense and want to escape.

And, if I am honest, I DO see a few glimpses of the ways I originally envisioned homeschooling to be and some that surpass what I could have envisioned that have been orchestrated by God, like the joy that comes from…

• being involved in each of our children’s process of learning to read
• witnessing the close friendships and bonds that are developing between the kids
• seeing and participating with the girls as they make up dance movements to songs like ‘LifeSong’ and ‘What If His People Prayed’
• being able to do history, science, and Bible with the oldest three kids, allowing for slight modifications due to knowing what they can handle
• from an early age, observing their growing desire for memorizing God’s Word
• being able to create and tailor curriculum to meet their needs (like Spelling , Bible Memory, and Preschool =) )
• noticing how much they enjoy reading for pleasure (all kinds of books!)
• knowing they really do have some opportunities to build creatively with the Legos, play pretend, perform plays, dance, sew, teach themselves chess, and do creative art projects without me in their spare time
• seeing the older children develop greater independence and the need for less direct instruction for assignments
• reflecting and seeing how God has already given us ways to help make our days go more smoothly (not perfectly, but more laid back and manageable)
• having the opportunity to see the gradually changing faces of each child, interact with their developing personalities, cheer on their tender spirits, and watch them grow for six additional hours each day than I would otherwise have during this fleeting time

My God, I acknowledge that your thoughts are not my thoughts, neither are Your ways my ways.  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are Your ways higher than my ways and Your thoughts than my thoughts.  Please adjust my expectations and vision to match what you desire for our family during this season.

I press on in my weakness, but relying on Christ’s strength…

But he said to me,
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,
so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses,
in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10