5 Things No One Ever Told Me About Having Teens

1. They will rise to the challenge.

So many times, I have heard disparaging comments directed at teens – for their lack of motivation and desire to be involved, for being prone to trouble, etc.  Those kind of remarks seem to set a really low bar for teens and young people.  But, can I let you in on a secret?  Teens can easily rise to your expectations..and greatly surpass them.  Encourage them to break the cultural norm of low expectations and remind them to strive to do what Colossians 3:23-24 tells all of us…. 

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart,
as working for the Lord, not for men,
since you know that you will receive an inheritance
from the Lord as a reward.
It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

        Encourage them to  follow 1 Timothy 4:12’s advice of…

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young,
but set an example for the believers
in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.

        Also, the following books (in addition to the Bible) are great in the hands of a
       preteen or young teen. They come highly recommended by our oldest.
          – Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris
          – Start Here by Alex and Brett Harris
          – Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper
          – Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus by Ann Spangler and Lois Tverberg
          – The Power of a Praying Teen by Stormie Omartian
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       Encourage your teens to work hard, to pursue things that are worthwhile, and to 
       remember that everything should be done for God’s glory.

2. They can own their faith.

Being raised in a Christian home is a huge blessing, but there is also a hidden challenge.  It is possible to attend services each week, go to Sunday School, memorize Scripture, and be around other Christians without letting all of that head knowledge ever reach your heart.  You can ‘feel’ like you are a Christian just because you were raised in that atmosphere.  However, it takes the Holy Spirit reaching your heart with His Word and Truth.  At some point, you either accept or reject the Truth you have been taught.  Teens, who truly love the Lord and have a saving faith in Jesus alone, are prepared to own their faith and take a stand for what they believe.  They are eager to dig deeper into His Word with others and on their own.  They are willing to share the hope of the Gospel with others.  Pray for the Holy Spirit to convict your teens of their sin and that your teens will truly own their faith in Christ.

3. They want to serve and have purpose.

Teens need to feel valued and to be useful.  Provide opportunities for them to serve in meaningful ways– in the home, in the neighborhood, in the community, in your church, etc.  By serving well, they gain respect, trust, and confidence. Service opportunities provide them a bigger vision of God’s world, broadens their perspective, and builds compassion for others.  Also, teens really do make great leaders and role models…and the younger kids love them!  Encourage your teens to seek creative ways to minister and serve others – especially your more introverted ones.

4. They are constantly learning and growing.

At this point in their young lives, teens are blossoming and discovering who they truly are and what their interests are for the future.  This is the perfect time in their life to question, research, experience, and try out things they may be excited about  – writing, photography, programming, sports, theater, debate, drawing, technology, music, etc.  They need the freedom to attempt new things under-girded by your loving support.  They will learn from both their successes and failures, but within a safety net of grace.  They may never again have this much time, freedom, grace, and assistance to discern the direction in which God is leading them.  Attempt to provide experiences that will lead your teens to discover their interests and passions.

5. They still need you…just in a different way.

When younger, our children needed constant supervision, direction, structure, and ‘how-to’s.  As they have become older, they have gradually gained more and more independence – in their play, in their chores and responsibilities, in their relationships with God and others, in their education, and in their goal setting.  We are still their parent, role model, and protector, but our role is gradually shifting from rule enforcer to encourager, cheerleader, listener, and guidance counselor – continuing to point them to God’s Word as they learn to wisely manage their own lives.  They still need to know that you love them, care for them, and are always there for them!  Be intentional with your time, words, and actions in order to express your love and commitment to your teens.

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    I’m encouraged and blessed as I see our our young teens, preteen, and their friends branch out and become who God has called them to be!  I pray that I am not in a tiny bubble here –  I see great hope in this next generation and how God is raising them up and working in and through them!  May our teens continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ – keeping their hearts and minds focused on Him. 
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Comments

  1. Andrea Gillen says:

    Great wisdom and insight for those of us with teens, teens themselves, and for those with that season yet in front of them. Thank you for the book suggestions,as well! Teens have the potential for tremendous impact for the Kingdom of God. Encouraging them in their gifts (if they are believers), or ensuring their hearts are reached for Christ, are truly worthwhile goals as parents. Blessings to you!

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