How come I don’t seem to realize that I am relying on my own strength, and not on my Lord, until the consequences become so evident in my life that I can’t ignore them?

Our pastor is teaching through the book of Colossians and is stressing the importance of having Jesus at the core of our lives.  (By the way, you can access all of the sermons here!) A couple weeks ago, he began the sermon by stating, “Life falls apart without Jesus.”   And, oh boy, does it ever.  I do have Jesus in my life.  He is my Lord and Savior.  But, I do not always go about my day dependent on Him.  Here are some real examples of where I am seeing this right now…

• School plans and other family decisions that need to be made feel as if they are looming over me.  I work through different possibilities – but sense fear and trembling.
• I have child training stresses.  I thought we had addressed these  before and were back on track.
• I have recurring sin issues.  Why can’t I break the cycle and move past this?
• And a new sin issue…God recently revealed to me that I have been harboring unkind thoughts and have let bitterness take root in my soul.  I thought I was working through this all right on my own.

Okay,anyone else notice a pattern here?  A difficulty, that God in His wisdom allows, is brought into my life and I react.  I attempt to do something – on my own.

Our pastor said we should have three confessional cries and I can honestly say that these are three confessional cries breaking forth from my heart to God right now….

1) “I’m dependent on You.”
I can’t make it on my own and I need God’s help!

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
(John 15:1-8)

2) “I need Your power.”
I am inadequate.  I can not rely on my own strength and wisdom.
I need His!  I need the power of the Holy Spirit working in my life.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,
so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults,
in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong.
(2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

3) “I need You more than anything.”
I need Jesus!

I need you more, more than yesterday.
I need You more, more than words can say.
I need You more than ever before.
I need You Lord. I need You Lord.

I can not fathom how to accomplish school each day with a 1st grader, preschooler, toddler, and infant – BUT Jesus, can.

I can not adequately reach the heart of my children, to raise them up to live for Christ, and to obey His commands – BUT Jesus can.

I can not learn from my mistakes and completely snuff out the sin areas in my life – BUT Jesus can.

I can not cultivate a tenderness and true forgiveness for the person I am holding grudges towards -BUT Jesus can.

It is a foreign concept in our culture, but I must admit that I can NOT do life without Jesus.  I just can’t make it on my own.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him
and He will make your paths straight.
(Proverbs 3:5-6)

Through different situations, God is making me more dependent on Him.  That’s a good thing!   May there be less of me and more of Him as I grow in Christ.